STORY BY

Karen Krakower Kaplan

E-mail Etiquette

Part two of a two-part story

Only Meg Ryan can make email look adorable. The rest of us approach our first morning duty of opening email with the same dread as opening a month-old carton of milk.

Oh, there was a time when “You’ve Got Mail!” were delightful words that sang to your heart...

You remember... That first joke you ever received, and it really was funny. The first “I love you” in a subject box, that did not carry the cyber equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease. The first meaningful piece of business correspondence that actually saved you time and even saved The Deal.

Now, as usual, we have mutated a convenience into a monster. We open our “IN” boxes to find 120 emails, half of which offer enhanced anatomy or smaller spy cameras. Another third are friends who believe chain letters and threats of mortal disaster are acceptable forms of affection. And the rest are colleagues and clients who expect a reply 2.4 seconds after they press ‘send.’

Miss Manners Says…

Help is here. HealthLeader queried an office full of communications professionals, the U.T. Health Science Center at Houston, Office of Institutional Advancement. An average week can bring 10,000 emails to be opened, answered and managed.

Below is an unofficial guide on “net-iquette” and unwieldy email management.

(Email, after all, is a public health issue.)

Netiquette: The Dos and Dont's

Emotion

• Writing in All CAPS: “Never write an e-mail in all capital letters unless you clearly want your recipient to understand that YOU ARE SCREAMING AT THEM.” — Development Communicator
• Exclamation Points!!!!! “Because tone is hard to communicate, we often fall victim to the copious-exclamation point-trap. You wouldn’t write a professional letter with more !!! than a used-car ad, so why subject your email readers to it? Overuse is annoying and can be perceived as more yelling!!!!!!!!” — Development Communicator
• Flame mails (angry retorts or complaints): “Because we do not have a flesh-and-blood person in front of us, it is way too easy to fire off a blast of rage, then jab our finger at the ‘send’ button. Chances are, our anger will only ignite someone else’s and then we simply will be deleted. Treat your readers as you would if you met them in person.” — Editor, Writer
• Up Close and Personal: “Never email when a phone call or personal visit will do. Email was designed to enhance the speed and effectiveness of interpersonal communication—not replace it.” — Media Specialist

Chain of Fools

• Chain Mail: “Today I received a chain letter with 12 forwards in the subject box, telling me that my girlfriends loved me…then it said I would meet with a grisly death if I didn’t send it to 12 other girlfriends within three minutes. I suppose I should make out my will. I figure I have two minutes left.” — Editor, Writer
• Jokes: “ I have a strict seek-and-destroy policy—unless it makes me cackle out loud or cry or get a hernia from laughing so hard—that’s right, out-loud tears and pain—I never forward a joke. If I do, it’s both rare, and worth it.” — Development Communicator
• Business and Pleasure: “I have two email boxes: office and home. PLEASE (note all caps) do not send off-color jokes with sound and video to someone’s office. Rule of thumb: anything you would not send through the U.S. mail, don’t send through email!!! (Note exclamation points.)” — Editor, Writer
• FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:RE:RE: “All email boxes fill up at some point. Do not forward the entire email conversation each time you send a two-word response. It makes ‘trash collection day’ an all-day affair.” — Media Specialist

For Your Eyes Only…HA!

• Group Emailing: “Do not expose your colleagues and friends to spam and privacy invasion by displaying their names and email addresses in group emails.”— Media Specialist
• ‘Reply All’: “Unless you are having a group discussion by email, where everyone’s input-in-writing is valuable, resist from replying to each person with, ‘I agree…way to go…yep…” That can add 50 key strokes to already over-taxed carpal tunneled wrists.” — Editor, Writer
• Blind Copy or Bcc: “This is to be used only if you are protecting the email addresses of a group of addressees. Otherwise, it can be construed as the equivalent of passing a secret or junior-high school gossip. Email is no different from writing a letter. Generally, one would not photocopy someone’s hand-written letter and then send it to a third party without their knowledge. Blind copying implies a third-party has not been apprised that their communiqué is being shared.” — Editor, Writer
• Respect: “Assume that every email you send, receive and forward is being read aloud on CNN. It lives forever, if someone wants it to, badly enough.” — Editor,Writer

Getting Too “Attached”

• Sending Attachments: “ If you’ve sent an attachment and then proceed to have an email conversation with that person, do so on a separate email. Each time you send that one-line message, the attachment is sent, also, and takes up valuable space.” — Web Specialist
• Large Attachments: “If you are sending an attachment that reaches the 1-2MB (megabyte) size, inform your reader that a large item is coming through the mail, so that it doesn’t slow or shut down someone’s system or mailbox.” — Communications Specialist

Immediate Gratification

• NOW: “Just because it takes only a nanosecond to press ‘send’ doesn’t mean that crafting a helpful and effective response is just as immediate.” — Editor, Writer
• More NOW: “We must be respectful of the person who is receiving our query. Most likely, they have 100 or so queries in front of ours. Email, by its very nature suggests that the person on the other end is sitting at their desktops, breathlessly awaiting our message and is poised to respond the second it pops up on the screen. We forget that phones, pagers, colleagues and actual non-email work is also taking place.” — Editor, Writer
• ‘Return to Sender’: “Once in a great while, email does get lost or misplaced in transit. If someone tells you that your email did not reach them till the next day, give them the benefit of the doubt. If they tell you that twice, ask them what email server they are using. If it happens three times…pick up the phone.” — Media Specialist
• “Uncle Sol and Aunt Sadie”: “Don’t expect immediate answers to personal email. I had a retired cousin who recently started using email. He became offended that my family did not respond immediately. He then sent follow-up email—are you ok? Did you get my email?, etc. I finally messaged him that I only check my personal email about once a week.” — Editor,Writer

Bottom Line:
“The Medium is the Message”

Practice random acts of e-kindness. Remember that your email represents you, your company, your family, your Self. It is no different than any other communiqué, except that it lands somewhere instantaneously. Use punctuation, correct spelling, a generous dose of salutation and just enough information to convey your message.

And if someone invites you to lunch or sends you a birthday card by email, don’t confuse the medium with the message. Respond kindly, and in kind.

(Now, forward this to everyone in your address box within five minutes…if not, that’s fine, too.)

Last Updated: 8-07-2003

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