
STORY BYEver since she was in her mother's womb, Taylor began the habit of sucking her thumb. Unlike her twin sister, Alexis, who sucked on a pacifier to console herself, Taylor continued to use her thumb as her natural pacifier. Now, at age 4, Taylor still sucks her thumb. Is Mommy worried? "No," says the twins' mother, Stephanie. "I know she'll grow out of it."
Not all parents are as calm as Stephanie. Do kids' habits serve a real purpose? Some child behavioral specialists think so. Picking up certain habits like nail biting, hair twirling and blanket toting can be annoying and baffling, but not necessarily troublesome.
"Young children's self-soothing habits go away in time," says Dr. Deborah Pearson, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at The University of Texas Medical School at Houston and mother of a 7-year-old son. "Most children go through these behaviors as part of normal development. Toddlers are developing their personalities, and this is part of that process."
There is good reason why children tend to develop annoying habits. Habits grow out of a need to deal with stressful situations, like attending a new school or an unpleasant event in a child's life. On the other hand, the habit just makes the child feel good for no other reason. We adults have a slew of our own for-no-good-reason habits.
For some kids, habits become something they can depend on to make themselves feel calm in difficult situations. Some of these habits are quite healthy and a way for the child to cope independently with life.
Young children are particularly unaware of their behaviors, like staring and rocking back and forth, and usually do them unconsciously. Sometimes it's their way of relieving boredom. Pearson says children usually kick their habit by age 4 when they feel safer in the world.
"Children get stressed out just like adults," says Pearson. "We see these behaviors during periods of stress and inactivity."
What can you do as a parent?
If you want to break your child's habit, Pearson says the first step is actually to ignore it.
"Shaming your child into breaking her habit is a bad idea. More often than not, a child's behaviors will disappear with time," Pearson says. "You don't want to make an excessive issue of it. It could cause more harm than good."
Punishment is an ineffective way to get rid of your child's irritating habits. Harsh words, teasing, or punitive measures may upset your child, and the habit will likely get worse. It's not, after all, a discipline issue.
"If you and your child are at battle with each other over a bad habit, tempers can flare and the result can affect your future relationship with your child," says Pearson. "It's not worth it."
Pearson says most childhood behaviors – if not gone by age 4 – vanish by the time the child leaves elementary school. Peer pressure may help rid the child's habit.
"When children are with their peers, they get feedback and eventually get weaned off," says Pearson, "So don't expect your teenager to go to the junior prom sucking his thumb. He will stop. However, parents should prefer that the behavior stops before peer pressure becomes another issue."
Most children run the full course of habits, which lasts no more than a few months. By age 6 or 8, the need to suck a thumb or fingers virtually goes away. But when does it go too far?
"When you see symptoms like hair-pulling where huge bald spots appear on your child's head, it's time to worry," says Pearson. "This is where it steps over the line and may be a sign of trichotillomania, the hair-pulling disorder."
If your child's habit interferes with her ability to function or causes physical damage, it's best to seek treatment from a medical professional. In most cases, the habits are the child's way of dealing with stress.
Repetitive behaviors like hand washing, staring spells and tics (involuntary movement) may stem from medication a child is taking. "That's pretty rare, though," says Pearson.
Certain repetitive disorders that interfere with a child's normal, daily function and play may require medical intervention – behaviors that fall under the description of obsessive–compulsive disorders.
"Most of the time, behaviors like nail-biting, cuticle-picking and hair twirling are just nervous habits - habits adults have, too. The time to be concerned is when a child's nails are bleeding from excessive picking. Seek treatment right away. Your child's pediatrician can refer you to a child psychiatrist or neurologist."
What's the best remedy? Pearson says tender, loving care.
"Give your child loving attention and do whatever else you can to help make your child's life less stressful," says Pearson. "That's a good habit for all of us to have."
UPDATED: 6-14-2004
Dr. Deborah Pearson is an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the UT Medical School.
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Add fiber to your diet... slowly
Dietary fiber is versatile and talented. It assists in discouraging a long list of woes: constipation, hemorrhoids, heart disease, diabetes, bad cholesterol and certain cancers.
Foods such as apples, berries, oranges, beans, broccoli, bran, multigrain breads and cereals should be added slowly into your diet, followed by an increase in fluid intake. Eventually you want to work up to 4 ½ cups of high fiber foods a day.
Otherwise, you might find yourself feeling more bloated, gassy or experiencing stomach cramps.So, add one high-fiber food at a time about a week apart. Increase your water intake (which includes unsweetened teas, diet sodas, juice) to eight glasses a day to help the fiber move through your system.