STORY BY

Drs. Blair & Rita Justice

Wedding bells are ringing. We ask our intendeds if they will love us? Honor us? Tolerate our addiction to “American Idol?” But one huge question is rarely asked: Will you be good for my health? The answer is: It depends on if you are the bride or the groom.

For the first time in 60 years, men are narrowing the gender gap of life expectancy: it now stands at 75.2 years for men and 80.4 years for women. But, (and here’s the fine print) the longevity benefits go mostly to the men. For women, marriage lowers the risk of death only slightly.

It’s still healthier, physiologically, to be married. Being married lowers everyone's risk of death. Married people have the lowest morbidity rates; divorced—the highest. Unmarried people spend twice as much time being hospital patients than those who are married.

Dr. Ronald D. Lee, an economist and director of the Center of Economics and Demography of Aging at the University of California at Berkeley, notes that a man's risk of death increases sharply after the death of his wife. His wry conclusion: "Women are very helpful for men. Men are not very helpful for women as spouses."

Ms. Heidi Hartman, a labor economist and the president of the Women's Policy Research, observes, "Men are generally happier when they're married. The women may not be happier but at least they've got more money [because of two-income households]."

Emotional housekeepers

So what makes marriage such a health benefit, especially for men? Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, Ph.D., a well-known researcher on social factors and health, and Rachel Yehuda, Ph.D., reported in a 2005 article in Journal of Women's Health (Vol.14, No. 4) on the effects of chronic anxiety and stress on the health of women. They write, “Women are much more stressed, in general, by interpersonal relationships than are men. The closer the relationship, the greater the woman’s emotional response. As seen in the workforce and in marital relationships, women are more uncomfortable in hostile or divisive interactions. They are the ‘emotional housekeepers’ in relationships. They respond to experiences at work, with children, and with their spouses based on emotions.”

Just as women do more of the housework and childcare, it is left to the woman to be the EPA of their domains: to clean up most of the emotional messes, as well. When asked, more than 90 percent of women describe the level of stress in their daily lives as moderate or higher. "Conversely,” Dr. Kiecolt-Glaser observes, “men usually do not see it—it is as if they are blind to the negative interactions around them, yet they respond with larger cortisol spikes." Their reactivity is physical and shorter-lasting. Men simply aren’t as stressed by problems in relationships, and since their wives are busy tidying up the emotional messes, there is less reason for them to react with physical stress.

The potential adverse effects of stress on a person's physical well-being have become well-recognized over the past decades, and the more chronic the stress, the greater the inhibition rate for healing. The older one is, the more stress promotes production of inflammatory cytokines, which are linked to a host of age-related diseases, including cardiovascular disease and osteoarthritis. It’s not that husbands don’t contribute to their wives’ health. They do, as the actuarial tables show, but they aren’t, statistically speaking, taking the emotional wear-and-tear that their wives bear.

Women ‘tend and befriend’

Wives may contribute to their husbands’ longevity simply because they are in charge of the address book. Hypothesizing on why men die more quickly after the death of their spouses than do women, Dr. Clara L. Cartstensen, a professor of psychology at Stanford University and director of Life-Span Development refers to the fact that women are usually the ones who make dinner plans and invite friends over on the weekend. So, it’s more likely that a man loses a social network when his wife dies, whereas a widowed woman continues to make plans and see people. It’s a sociological given that women "tend and befriend."

This observation, researched by Drs. Laura Cousin Klein and Shelley Taylor, may add a biochemical explanation as to why men still die younger than women. Male aggression appears to be regulated by androgen hormones, such as testosterone, which are linked to sympathetic reactivity. Female emotional responses are cerebral in nature, moderated by social circumstances, learning and culture which releases the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin produces a calming affect, reduces fearfulness and decreases the stress-induced fight-or-flight responses. While women are in the act of tending or befriending, studies suggest they produce oxytocin. This calming response does not occur in men, says Klein, because testosterone, which men produce abundantly when under stress seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Study after study finds that social ties reduce blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol. A warm and supportive relationship or an extended support system is protective and helpful physically. Friends—and spouses—help us live longer. And if you happen to be a husband married to a woman who has knit you a strong social network, you may also live better.

Men need marriage for their health for one more reason: that’s where they feel safe—perhaps the only place. A person's belief that he or she is loved, esteemed, valued and cared for is a powerful factor in creating a sense of well-being. Men more readily find that unique feeling of belonging in a marriage. Women experience it in relationships with family and other women as well as in their marriage.

So, ring the wedding bells, cut the cake, and toss the rose petals—odds are, you’ll live longer. And for the groom, his wedding gift from the bride is a longevity-bonus he can add to “happily ever after.”

UPDATED: 7-05-2006

Editorial Board | Legal Disclaimer | Privacy & Security | Contact Us

©2000-2006 Office of Institutional Advancement, UT-Houston